Read Luke 10:25-37

1.Do you believe that loving well is the goal of the Christian life? The Pharisees apparently loved God well, but weren’t very good at loving people well. Can these two aspects of love be seperated? Why do you think this took place?

2. The old Monk in Dostoevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov says that “Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.”  Essentially he is saying that to love well is easier in our dreams, in our minds than it is in practice. Have you seen this true in your own experience? How so? 

3. Did you believe this myth when you first began your journey with Christ that when we receive Christ, believe Him and put our trust in Him, that when He makes His home in us we automatically grow into emotionally mature adults. That it just happens. Any disillusionment in you when you realized this wasn't the case?

4. Did you believe this myth, that because people follow Jesus it automatically means they will love people better than those who don’t follow Jesus? How does this reality sit with you presently? How do you make sense of that?

5. In your family of origin, what stage of emotional health was modeled to you?

Emotional Infants –

-       are driven by need for instant gratification

-       look for others to take care of them

-       use others as objects to use and meet their needs

 Emotional Children –

-       Are easily hurt?

-       Complain, pout, manipulate when they don’t get their way?

-       Happy as long as they receive what they want

-       Interpret disagreements as personal offenses

-       Have a great difficulty calmly discussing their needs and wants in a mature loving way

 Emotional Adolescents –

-       Defensive

-       preoccupied with self

-       keep score

-       don’t deal with conflict well

-       threatened and alarmed by criticism

-       often blaming, appeasing, going to a third party, gossiping, pouting, or ignoring the issue entitrely

-       having a real difficulty truly listening to another person’s pain, disappointment and needs

-       are critical and judgemental

 Emotional Adults –

-       respect others w/o having to change them

-       give people room to make mistakes

-       can when under stress state their own beliefs and values w/o loosing it

-       are able to ask for what they need, want or prefer – clearly, directly , honestly.

-       Recognize, manage and take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings

-       Give people room to make mistakes and not be perfect

-       Appreciate people for who they are – the good, bad, and ugly – not for what they give back

-       Accurately assess their own limits, strengths, and weaknesses and are able to discuss them with others

-       Are deeply in tune with their own emotional world and able to enter into the feelings, needs, and concerns of others w/o losing themselves

-       Have the capacity to resolve conflict maturely and negotiate solutions that consider the perspectives of others

6. If we look at the parable of the good Samaritan, we see the Samaritan as someone who was demonstrating healthy emotional adult loving. What's one area of emotional adulthood that you want to grow towards this coming year?

Application:

The only way we can live out this parable is to realize that we are that naked, poor, wounded man lying on the side of the road. In desperate need of love and care and help. And that Jesus is the Good Samaritan.

It begins by seeing our need and allowing Him to rescue you. Love on you. Apply the oil of His Spirit to your wounds; apply the wine of His love to your aching soul. Allow Him to wipe your slate clean, remember your sins no more; call you His son or daughter. That’s what Jesus came to accomplish.

No matter where we are at in the journey, this is the beginning, middle and final step. We never grow out of this. And we work this out together, in relationship.

Talk and pray together.